I am now incapable of loving

loving the way I did

for every time I try

I see the eyes of an intruder

behind your shoulders.


I cannot be myself

– not the way I was

for every time I let go

I sense the silent rebuke

in your pursed lips.


Every time I want

to be my previous self

my carefree, unguarded self

I feel the judgement

in your unfeeling eyes.


I want to break free,

move forward. But every time

my own uncertainties

haunt me, hold me, handcuffed

to the shadows of past.